A Conversation with Mum about Parcel Delivery and Love
Mum: Why do you think Sarah (granddaughter) would ship me something?
Me: I guess you’re home more often. I sometimes have things delivered to you.
Mum: Yes. What do you think it is?
Me: No idea.
Mum: I want to know.
Me: Because you’re a stickybeak.
Mum: I want to see if Emwa is any different to Australia Post. If I have to sign for it or they’ll just leave it at the front door. I’m not home all the time you know.
Mum: Oh maybe it’s just the letters, like DHL.
Me: What are the letters?
Mum: M W A H.
Me: Where is that written down?
Mum: On a text.
Me: Sarah said, I’m shipping you something through M W A H?
Mum: Yes, that’s what I said.
Me: Show me the text.
The text says: Ship you, Nan. Mwah.
Me: She’s not sending you anything.
Mum: Shipping, posting, what’s the difference?
Me: Mwah is the noise of a kiss.
Me: Mwah means kiss.
Mum: I’m shipping you a kiss. Oh. I’m sending you a kiss.
Me: Almost. Ship means love.
Mum: Ship means love. That’s ridiculous.
Me: She’s saying she loves you and here’s a kiss.
Mum: Tsk. Well why didn’t she just say that. I cancelled lunch with Pam on Monday thinking I should stay home for this damn Emwa delivery.
My Dad looks at her, blows a kiss and says: Mwah.