A Conversation with Mum about Parcel Delivery and Love

Over Breakfast

Mum:  Why do you think Sarah (granddaughter) would ship me something?

Me:      I guess you’re home more often.  I sometimes have things delivered to you.

Mum:  Yes.  What do you think it is?

Me:      No idea.

Mum:  I want to know.

Me:      Because you’re a stickybeak.

Mum:  I want to see if Emwa is any different to Australia Post.  If I have to sign for it or they’ll just leave it at the front door.  I’m not home all the time you know.

Me:      Emwa?

Mum:  Oh maybe it’s just the letters, like DHL.

Me:      What are the letters?

Mum:  M W A H.

Me:      Where is that written down?

Mum:  On a text.

Me:      Sarah said, I’m shipping you something through M W A H?

Mum:  Yes, that’s what I said.

Me:      Show me the text.

The text says:  Ship you, Nan. Mwah. 

Me:       She’s not sending you anything.

Mum:  Shipping, posting, what’s the difference?

Me:      Mwah is the noise of a kiss.

Mum:  What?

Me:      Mwah means kiss.

Mum:  I’m shipping you a kiss.  Oh.  I’m sending you a kiss.

Me:      Almost.  Ship means love.

Mum:  Ship means love.  That’s ridiculous.

Me:      She’s saying she loves you and here’s a kiss.

Mum:  Tsk.  Well why didn’t she just say that.  I cancelled lunch with Pam on Monday thinking I should stay home for this damn Emwa delivery.

My Dad looks at her, blows a kiss and says:  Mwah.