A conversation with Mum about window washers
This took place courtside at my nephews basketball match.
Mum: Did I tell you about the window washer?
Me: No, but you’re going to.
Mum: You should know in case you make the same mistake.
Me: What kind of mistake can you make with a window washer?
Mum: You just listen. I’ll tell you.
Me: Or we could watch basketball.
Mum: He’s not even on the field.
Mum: Whatever. If you hired a window washer from the local paper and it said Eastern Suburbs what would you think?
Me: My children don’t love me?
Mum: Oh, that. Well, yes, but you couldn’t do it.
Me: Why not?
Mum: The ladder.
Me: I can use a ladder.
Mum: No you can’t.
Me: Why not?
Mum: Doesn’t matter.
Me: That’s what you say when you’re losing an argument.
Mum: You should be grateful I didn’t ask you to clean my windows.
Me: You’re right. I’m grateful.
Mum: What would you think if you saw: Window Washer – Eastern Suburbs?
Me: Hope he shows up.
Mum: Not that. Be serious.
Me: Next to you have awful kids, that was serious.
Mum: There’s a right answer.
Me: About window washers?
Mum: There is.
Me: I must’ve missed that day at school.
Me: That he washes windows in the Eastern Suburbs.
Mum: And that he lives there too.
Me: No, why would I think about where he lives?
Mum: Well you should.
Me: Okaaay. Why does it matter?
Mum: It rained. It poured. All day.
Mum: He didn’t know it was raining because he lives 40 minutes away. How stupid is that. So when he got to the house it was raining and he couldn’t go out in that, poor man. I wouldn’t let him. But still, how silly. I’d never have hired him if I knew he lived 40 minutes away.
Mum: People should live where they work. Like you.
Me: I work from home, most of the time. I don’t count.
Mum: See, perfect.
Me: Hold on. When I don’t work from home I work all over the place, other cities.
Mum: I’m talking about other people not you.
Me: So other people should never need to get on a bus or a train to travel to work.
Mum: Well, maybe not all people.
Me: Just window washers.
Mum: Yes, especially them.
Me: Poor window washers. They might not be able to afford to live where people can afford to have their windows washed, or where people have kids who love them and are trained to use ladders.
Mum: Don’t confuse things. You’re making me sound mean.
Mum: Anyway it’s false advertising.
Me: How is it false advertising?
Mum: It should say, weather depending or something.
Me: It’s window washing. It’s about water.
Mum: Not that much water.
Me: You said, you stopped him.
Mum: I did, I’m not an awful person who needs their windows washed in the rain. I made him a cup of tea and a sandwich.
Me: He drove for 40 minutes and you sent him away.
Mum: He got lunch. Smoked salmon. But that’s why he should live closer, or check the weather.
Me: Or move.
Mum: I did suggest that.
Me: Parents have always embarrassed their children haven’t they?
Mum: Yes, it’s a tradition.