A Conversation with Mum about Time Travel
Mum: We need to go to breakfast early this Sunday.
Me: Okay, what time?
Mum: Well, the same time.
Me: Not early then.
Mum: No early, we need to be early.
Me: So, not the usual time?
Mum: Yes, the usual time. But early.
Mum: The usual time but early. How is that not clear?
Me: Maybe it’s something in the air.
Mum: Don’t be late.
Me: Is that what you mean?
Mum: Yes. You’re always late.
Me: I’ve been late exactly twice in all this time we’ve been having breakfast on Sunday. Once because I felt bad and I was slow moving and the second time because someone parked me in – and I was only five minutes late that time. So when you say be early, you just mean be on time.
Mum: No, I mean be early.
Me: When are you getting there?
Mum: The same time.
Me: So, not early?
Mum: No. But you need to be early.
Me: Why do I need to be early, by myself?
Mum: Because you’re always late.
Me: I am not always late.
Mum: You’re always later than me.
Me: That doesn’t make me late.
Mum: What would you call it then?
Me: On time.
Mum: Later than me is late.
Mum: Okay, you can be on time if you can manage that.
Me: Gee, thanks.
Mum: But you’d better get there before me.
Me: Or what?
Mum: You’ll be late.