Mum Gets An Urge
Mum: I bought a breaker.
Me: You did. What’s a breaker?
Mum: Oh, wait, it’s a booster.
Me: Like kids sit on at the movies?
Mum: No, for the computer.
Me: You bought a booster for the computer. That’s a worry.
Mum: Why? They’re supposed to be good for them.
Me: Are you thinking you need to boost your signal?
Mum: What does that mean?
Me: Nevermind. Your signal to noise ratio is already significant.
Mum: What do they say about small minds?
Me: Is this a joke, what do they say?
Mum: They’re an empty vessel.
Me: I don’t think that’s what they say.
Mum: You know what I mean, small minds.
Me: Are what?
Mum: Empty as they amuse themselves.
Me: That’s not a thing.
Mum: It is when you do it.
Me: Who told you to get a booster?
Mum: I learned it somewhere.
Me: Terrific. What do you do with this booster?
Mum: Wish I’d never mentioned it to you. Why don’t you know this? It’s on the floor at the moment. I have to plug it in yet.
Me: Plug it in where?
Mum: Into the electricity.
Me: And then what?
Mum: Nothing apparently. I just plugged it in.
Me: What did you think it was going to do?
Mum: I should’ve known this was a con job.
Me: You plugged it in like an air freshener?
Mum: Don’t be daft.
Me: I don’t understand what the booster is meant to do?
Mum: Protect me from storms.
Mum: I probably have to wait till we have one.
Me: Do you mean a surge protector?
Mum: I’m looking at the box. Yes, that’s what it’s called.
Me: Breaker. Booster. Save me. Have you ever had a power surge?
Mum: Yes, I have them a lot.
Me: You do not.
Mum: I do. Every time I speak to you I have this surge to throttle you.