Ainslie Paton romance author

A Conversation with Mum About Delinquency. She’s Bad.

Me:        If you see any African Violets at the garden centre will you grab me one?

Mom:     Okay.

Later the same day.

Mom:     I bought you this.  Holds out a leaf from an African Violet.

Me:        Oh great you found one.  Did it break?

Mom:     Yes.

Me:        Where’s the rest of it?

Mom:     That’s it.

Me:        What?

Mom:     That’s it.  I think it has purple flowers with a bit of white, or maybe white, I was a bit quick.

Me:        Where is the rest of it?

Mom:     Back at the garden centre.

Me:        You bought me one leaf?

Mom:     You can grow these from a cutting.  You used to do that.  You had a whole window of them.

Me:        Yes, but…

Mom:     Well it was kind of just there and so I took it.

Me:        I don’t know what you mean.  Was it fallen on the ground?

Mom:     A bit.

Me:        A bit fallen on the ground.

Mom:     They were too expensive.

Me:        I’d have given you the money.

Mom:     Yes, well, we weren’t paying that.

Me:        Go back to a bit fallen on the ground.

Mom:     It looked a little wobbly so I took it.

Me:        Wobbly, as in not on the ground, still attached to the plant?

Mom:     Stop hassling me.  You wanted an African Violet, I got you one.

Me:        One leaf.

Mom:     It’ll grow.

Me:        You nicked this off a plant.

Mom:     It’s one leaf.  No one is going to miss it.

Me:        Did the store have cameras?

Mom:     Why do you want to know that?

Me:        You broke something and stole it.

Mom:     Don’t be ridiculous, it’s a leaf.

Me:        Shoplifter.

Mom:     I should’ve left this there.

Me:        Instead of making me an accessory to your crime.

Mom:     What accessory?

Me:        Receiving stolen goods.

Mom:     It’s not like it’s a TV.

Me:        Just as well.

Mom:     Yes.  I couldn’t carry that in a tissue.

Me:        My mother the senior delinquent.

Mum:     Gets the giggles.  I don’t even feel bad.  Says bad as if she’s Michael Jackson.

One Response to “A Conversation with Mum About Delinquency. She’s Bad.

  • She is too funny…why do you even bother asking her to pick things up for you? It never works though it provides good material for your blog…(Suzanne)

Hello, what are you thinking?

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