Ainslie Paton romance author

The Language of What?

The Language of What?

Every profession has its own language.  In The Love Experiment it’s the language of journalism with its ledes, editorializing, bylines and clickbait.  But it’s also the language of yoga. The heroine, Derelie, (rhymes with Merrily), has moved from a small town to the big city and is taking yoga classes for the first time.

She’s not sure if she’s enjoying it. I know what she means.

Here’s my top twenty make you think twice phrases I’ve had said to me at yoga and Pilates.

  1. Draw circles with your nose

Am I supposed to feel dizzy?

  1. Dial your pinkies forward

Oh my God, my little fingers are facing the wrong way.

  1. Lift your heart to the sky

While its still in my chest?  How bendy do you think I am?

  1. Find length

Oh, I wish.

  1. Don’t dump all your weight to the earth

Dumping my weight to the earth is pretty much how I move around on a daily basis.

  1. Synchronize the lift off

Houston, we have a problem.

  1. Zipper your abs

I thought thats why wed shifted to activewear. No zips.

  1. Windshield wiper to connect

Im struggling to see what my car has to do with this.

  1. Open through the armpit chest

My where?

  1. Marry the movements

Look, were not even going steady yet.

  1. Capture the moment of breath

Just let me get through this part where Im panting first.

  1. Massage the wrist ceases

You made me notice my wrist has wrinkles.  My wrist!

  1. Be fluent in your silence


  1. Breathe like the ocean

I choose the dead sea.

  1. Dust off your aura

I got enough to dust at home, thanks.

  1. Decide to grow taller

If it was only a matter of deciding things like that, Id be a svelte and rich.

  1. Hug your thighs

I would, but they seem such a long way away. Ill just wave at them for now.

  1. Kiss your arches

Okay now youre screwing with me.

  1. Be more heart and less attack

I feel like youre trolling me.

  1. You have permission to rest

Call me for dinner.

And here’s a bonus one I couldn’t resist sharing.

   21: Use your prehensile toes

Yeah, I got nothing.

One Response to “The Language of What?

Hello, what are you thinking?

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