The Language of What?
The Language of What?
Every profession has its own language. In The Love Experiment it’s the language of journalism with its ledes, editorializing, bylines and clickbait. But it’s also the language of yoga. The heroine, Derelie, (rhymes with Merrily), has moved from a small town to the big city and is taking yoga classes for the first time.
She’s not sure if she’s enjoying it. I know what she means.
Here’s my top twenty make you think twice phrases I’ve had said to me at yoga and Pilates.
- Draw circles with your nose
Am I supposed to feel dizzy?
- Dial your pinkies forward
Oh my God, my little fingers are facing the wrong way.
- Lift your heart to the sky
While it’s still in my chest? How bendy do you think I am?
- Find length
Oh, I wish.
- Don’t dump all your weight to the earth
Dumping my weight to the earth is pretty much how I move around on a daily basis.
- Synchronize the lift off
Houston, we have a problem.
- Zipper your abs
I thought that’s why we’d shifted to activewear. No zips.
- Windshield wiper to connect
I’m struggling to see what my car has to do with this.
- Open through the armpit chest
My where?
- Marry the movements
Look, we’re not even going steady yet.
- Capture the moment of breath
Just let me get through this part where I’m panting first.
- Massage the wrist ceases
You made me notice my wrist has wrinkles. My wrist!
- Be fluent in your silence
Pardon?
- Breathe like the ocean
I choose the dead sea.
- Dust off your aura
I got enough to dust at home, thanks.
- Decide to grow taller
If it was only a matter of deciding things like that, I’d be a svelte and rich.
- Hug your thighs
I would, but they seem such a long way away. I’ll just wave at them for now.
- Kiss your arches
Okay now you’re screwing with me.
- Be more heart and less attack
I feel like you’re trolling me.
- You have permission to rest
Call me for dinner.
And here’s a bonus one I couldn’t resist sharing.
21: Use your prehensile toes
Yeah, I got nothing.
Next Post
Really funny…(Suzanne)